Pistachio Protein Dream Ice Cream
Oh my gosh, this pistachio ice cream is the kind of treat that makes you feel like you're cheating on your diet, but you're not — promise. I first made this on a sweltering July afternoon when my freezer was full of sad bananas and my blender was begging for a challenge. The smell of toasted pistachios mixed with vanilla? Honestly, it's like a hug from your Italian nonna. Creamy, nutty, and packed with protein, this ice cream is perfect for post-workout indulgence or just when you need something sweet that won't make you feel guilty. Trust me, you'll want to hide the tub from yourself.
Ingredients
- 1 cup raw pistachios — the unsalted, unroasted kind, because we're fancy like that
- 1 can full-fat coconut milk — don't even think about the light version, it's a crime
- 1/2 cup vanilla protein powder — the good stuff, not the one that tastes like chalk
- 1/4 cup maple syrup — or honey if you're feeling wild
- 1 tsp vanilla extract — the real deal, not that imitation nonsense
- Pinch of sea salt — because sweet needs a little salty sass
Instructions
- Toast the pistachios in a dry skillet over medium heat for about 5 minutes, stirring constantly. You'll know they're ready when your kitchen smells like a fancy Italian bakery. Don't walk away — they burn faster than my last Tinder date ghosted me.
- Let the pistachios cool for a hot minute, then toss them in a blender with the coconut milk, protein powder, maple syrup, vanilla, and salt. Blend until it's smoother than your excuses for skipping leg day.
- Taste the mixture. If it's not sweet enough, add a splash more maple syrup. If it's too thick, splash in a bit more coconut milk. This is your ice cream, you're the boss.
- Pour the mixture into a freezer-safe container. I use a loaf pan because it's what I have, but if you're fancy, use an actual ice cream tub.
- Cover it tightly with plastic wrap or a lid, then freeze for at least 4 hours. If you can wait overnight, even better. But let's be real, you'll probably sneak a spoonful after 2 hours.
- When you're ready to eat, let it sit at room temp for 10 minutes so it softens up. Scoop it into a bowl, top with extra chopped pistachios if you're feeling extra extra, and enjoy the fact that you just made protein ice cream that doesn't taste like sadness.
Notes
Okay, real talk — don't skip toasting the pistachios. I once tried to rush this step and ended up with sad, bland ice cream that tasted like green chalk. Also, if your blender starts smoking, you've gone too far. Blend in batches if needed. And for the love of all things creamy, use full-fat coconut milk — the light stuff will turn your dream into a frozen disappointment. Oh, and if you're feeling extra, drizzle some melted dark chocolate on top before freezing. You're welcome.